Where the Spirit is THERE IS FREEDOM!

I started the application process for Liberty University yesterday. I absolutely love their Psychology/Human Services/Counseling program. It looks really good. Just another opportunity if God decides to open that door. We'll see!
On another note, I stayed up late last night (which wasn't planned) listening to my recording of my Mercy Ministries Graduation. Talk about powerful! Not only just hearing my testimony and all the encouraging things the staff said to me and Amy (girl I graduated with), but hearing me speak powerful things over myself and declare so many things about God in my life! I felt the power of God and being set free all over again! It was so good! Praise God for the freedom! One thing that really got me is what Tracey, the fitness director, said, "Where the spirit is, there is freedom!" So good. And on a funny note, my mom meant to say "a new creation in Christ" but she said "a new creature in Christ". I guess it works, but it made me wanna laugh....Oh wait, I did lay in bed and laugh! It was powerful, laughing and crying all over again, soaking up the presence of God and just appreciating where I am in my life! He is so holy and so powerful! I have authority through Him over the devil! And as the end of the Mercy Champions Creed says: "AND SATAN HAS BEEN DEFEATED!"
(PICTURE: Me and Ames on our Mercy Ministries Graduation Day!!!)

Today I applied to Lighthouse Christian Camp for the summer. I had asked for an application last November after I got back from a short term missions trip there. I always wanted to go, but didn't know what God wanted. I still want to go, but get afraid that it might interfere with the possibility of an internship. But I've prayed, and Mr. Michael must be praying, cuz I got a facebook message from him. It said that God told him to have me send in my application. And I did just that today. So friends, it's a high possibility that I'm spending next summer in Tennessee working with underprivileged children, and counseling my own cabin for all of the girls missions and discipleship weeks! God is so good! I'm so excited! Now it's just back to praying and going wherever the Lord leads! :)
(PICTURE: Lighthouse Christian Camp; my first time there at a summer camp! Me and Leah!)

flirting. wet moccasins. headaches.

I stepped back and took a breath today, realizing how good i have it here in boring Neenah, WI. I have parents, a family, a roof over my head, food, clean drinking water, friendships, a new car, and schooling. I sit and worry about the petty little things like a boy stalking me in math class, or my wet feet from the snow. I worry about minor health problems like a virus and constant headache I've had ever since I donated blood. But really Mandie, REALLY? Those minute little things, in retrospect to the life my God has blessed me with. Wow. I'm such a complainer sometimes. I just need to step back and appreciate and be thankful for everything i am blessed with. God's done so much for me this past year and I am so blessed. Wow. What an amazing God I serve. I just wish everyone could know Him like I do, and that I could know Him even more. To have a God that loves this world so much just blows me away. Today, today I feel loved. I feel blessed. And I am thankful!
(PICTURE: Lifest 2006 with my little buddy Kristen who is growing up into a beautiful young lady now!)

It's time for me to make some important decisions in life. College applications are about due, and I just don't know what to do. I have dreams and aspirations about my future that I believe He has given me. But I just have no clue how He wants me to go about pursuing them. And whether to go to college, when and where. With what major? I really really just want to counsel young girls or work in a hospital or group home setting with eating disorder patients. But it's so hard to tell if it's God, because I have had so many goals before, and not known how to approach them. I know I want to help youth and young girls, and that's about all I know. Hahaha. GOD SHOW ME! PRETTY PLEASE!

New Mercy Ministries Barlow Girl Music Video

Check it out guys! Mercy Ministries changed my life! I am truly a new creation in Christ because of the 6 months I spent there.

hw

HOMEWORK HOMEWORK HOMEWORK! Today is the day. I've slacked all weekend, so I'm on it!

justyna. a dear friend.

For some reason God has put my Polish friend I made back in 2006 on my heart. Justyna Michniewska. The first time we had a real "talk", minus words since we speak different languages, was after I gave part of my testimony at the time to the whole camp in Janikowo Poland. Only after this did I discover that Justyna had a lot of the same problems as me. After our encounter, fake sign language, and her broken English explaining to me that she had a hard time in the same stuff as me we prayed together. In Polish and English. Neither one understanding the other, we prayed for each other. It just amazed me that 2 young girls, in 2 completely different walks of life, still struggling with the same things, and still praying to the same God. God understood both of us. I don't know why, but at the time it amazed me so much.
I don't know why but I really have a heart for Justyna, because I have seen in her a lot of what I saw in me. To whoever reads this. I would just like to ask for ya'all to pray for her. Her last facebook status update was "I do not want to live. :(" I haven't heard from her at all since then and she isn't on facebook anymore. Just pray that God pulls her into His loving arms and she knows she is loved and that He cares for her, that life is worth living. Cuz it sure is! :)

timeout.

no time to write. i hope this blog thing doesn't go kaput with my busy life. but basically nothing exciting is happening. im engulfed in an amazing book right now (Burned, by Ellen Hopkins), but shouldn't be reading seeing as to how much hw and studying i SHOULD be doing. off to study math now....then maybe just a few pages...;)
(PIC: me and mom on the boat a couple summers ago.)

nothing to say other than i love my job

the Stoics and Epictetus

we're studying Epictetus and the Stoics in Philosophy. lots of what he says is a little off, but i thought it pretty amazing that the Stoics had a view on determinism and predestination similar to Christians. the Stoics claim that there is either a higher power (or nature laws if you don't believe in a higher power) (Cosmic Determinism) that knows everything that is going to happen, everything is set out and laid out. then there is Fate. it's like you're living in a circle of cosmic determinism and fate is an arrow going into that circle determining your "fate". (nice diagram, eh?) but yet, there's Inner Freedom, making your decisions for yourself. the Stoics got it. they grasped it. and so do us Christians, even though it's one of those things that is kinda unfathomable. my teacher was just funny, ranting about how it contradicts itself. the Stoics were brilliant. Philosophy really is brilliant. i actually enjoy the class and get excited to think through all these thought processes and how things "are" or the existence of matter. it just intrigues me. God has really put some intelligent people out there. i love stretching my brain.
(PIC: last May with one of my besties KC on a random 80 degree day)

jfowaihnfsadkl

i saw an old man smoking a pipe in his car today.....yup....that's all i got.
(PIC: my amazing counselor from when I was @ Mercy.)

a bunch of nonsense.

yesterdays blog: fail.
today... just a typical day. well not so much. a huge crystal bowl exploded all over the kitchen at 6:30 this morning. zoey puked. and it was just an interesting start to the day. and i guess you COULD call that a typical day at the swinford home. haha. its my dads 46th birthday. happy birthday to him, and Abraham Lincoln.
we get our new car today. its a sea foam green '94 escort station wagon. whoot whoot. and 30 MPG! ptl. no more driving the truck at 14. yay for gas money!
it should also be a good weekend coming up with dads birthday dinner tonight. noelle coming home tonight. coffee with abbz and noe tomorrow morning. and tomorrow night hopefully with alison, amy, erica, and noelle.
i also have another math quiz today and actually studdied for it. but with my luck in that class who knows. its so hard to do well when there's only 5 questions and the teacher grades unfairly.
on a side note. i AM doing well in my other classes. so there's a plus.
ps: anyone got a TI84 or TI89 graphing calculator they don't need anymore or can borrow to me for the semester?
(picture from poland trip 2006)

i'm gonna dance in the freedom i know!

I'm having one of those days where I'm just so happy to be walking in freedom! Free from guilt and condemnation! Free from a past that controlled my life! Free to worship the God of the universe! And free to still be me!

snowstorms. children. no cpr.

isn't this just the uggliest color font ever. today was good. just another day at work. except i gotta work in the 1 year old room, 2 year old room, 3 year old room, 4 year old room, AND with the school age children all at different points throughout the day. i love just observing the kids and seeing how they progress through the years. i definitely decided i like the 4 year olds the best. i decided this for a very selfish reason. all the girls sat around me today and played with my earings, necklace, nose ring...complementing me on everything from my "cool" shoes to the "awesome sparkley dot on your nose". they just amaze me. i really wish us older folk could just sit around and talk about what we like in each other. not what bothers us or we can't stand. the positives. people are so beautiful. inocent kids see it. and you know who else sees it? Jesus. i kinda feel like he looks at me the same way as those little 4 year olds. he sees me as blameless. he doesn't see my past anymore, because i've been forgiven by his blood. he sees all his hard work put into creating me, and he is proud of his creation. he thinks im beautiful. he really truely views me as those 4 year old girls. i am admired. i am special.

love vs. like.

alright. im upset. as u can tell by the ugly color im writing in. and glad i can rant on here to the maybe 1 or 2 people that read this. lol. math. algebra. whatever u wanna call it. it sucks bigtime. its unfair. and just so not right in many many ways. my teacher, whom might i mention BARELY speaks english, teaches from a different perspective than any other math teacher ive ever had. to be able to give some students points, and others not, not cool. and then, i did a problem right, got the right answer, even showed extra steps. but i didn't do it the way she LIKES it. so what do you know, i lose all the points. and it really says something about your teaching when u have a student ("me") who got high A's ALL THE WAY THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL in EVERY math class, then comes and gets a flat out D in her class, and over half the class is retaking it because they failed MULTIPLE times with her as the teacher. is this right? y me? GOD, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TEACH ME?!?!?!?! to love those i dislike? to not always get good grades and succeed? i worked hard all through high school to get into Madison. i screwed that up and am getting my second chance, and now i'm literally getting cheated out of a good GPA. agh, how do i learn something out of this? how do i ACCEPT this. i can't switch classes, nothing else is offered. i can't drop, i'll be off insurance for not being a fulltime student. i obviously can't lay down in the university hallway and throw a fit. instead...i guess i can just at least TRY to rely on God, TRY to accept that He'll work it out. maybe He's just trying to pull me into Him closer. praaaaayyyying......

bring on a new, fresh, week.

today starts a new crazy week. praise God for good sleep last night!!! i was able to get up earlier today and go out to coffee with a friend at Aspen Tea! oh wow, good chai tea! but yeah, im just chillin' at school, waiting for classes to start. i've decided for anyone who isn't 100% sure what they want to do with their lives after high school, they should go to UW-Fox for basic classes. it's such a great school and has all the classes any freshman would have to take anyways for cheap! can't go wrong there.
i'm learning what it means to be a poor college student. when i wrote my check out last week for tuition my bank account went from what it was at, to squat. i'm trying to view it as an adventure, a challenge, and it makes work so much more worth it. i know my God will provide. He aways does.
maybe i'll blog twice today, cuz i always have more to say and right now i have to go to class and learn about Aristotle, take a Speech quiz, learn more junk in Math, and deeply discuss Huck Finn. oh, the joys of being a college student. (i'll admit, i really do like school. haha)

prayer challenge.

Pathways was good today. I'm really excited to be attending a new church. Today starts the 70 day prayer challenge! :)

what to do...

so, im stuck in this place of trusting God with my future. and i mean, really trusting God. im not so sure where i wanna go with my future and there are so many options. im looking into Bible college at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, North Central University in St. Paul, and now im a little interested in the St. Louis Dream Center Ministry Academy in St. Louis. i also may have an opportunity to participate in a internship with TRUE Daughters in Raleigh. and this next summer i have the opportunity to serve at a missions camp in Tennessee if that's where God wants me. there are so many opportunities and options. and i KNOW God will show me what im supposed to do in HIS timing. it just isn't always easy waiting. but if im seeking and trusting him he will "show me which path to take". i pray that i can be confident that Christ has a future for me, and that He's going to lay it out perfectly how He wants it and in His timing. i know wherever he leads me i will be serving him.
(PS: THE PICTURE IS FROM LAST WEEKEND'S SKI TRIP WITH MY MIDDLE SCHOOLERS FROM CHURCH!)

3-2I2x+3I>5....all real solutions? math.

so today so far: nothing exciting as usual. just another day in the life of a college student. woke up and decided i actually wanted to look nice today! it's crazy how pampering yourself every once in a while can really help you feel great. i even wore my hair down. i know, shocker! haha. but i just went to classes. i taught my speech class today and it went really well, my game was a hit. in math i got a C on my quiz, which is better than the last one, but still not satisfying. and in philosophy we talked about if pulling the plug on a permanantly brain dead patient is humain. tonight im going to a concert at Pathways Church and dog sitting at night. what a day. (bagh!)
on a side note, im really appreciating having routine in my life. God is really using it to keep me sane. i have school and work and hw and a scheduled eating time with no extra time to have obsessive munchies. it really helps me lots. (not that waking up early to an alarm clock is fun.)
im off to spend time with my Saviour. it's cool to always have someone there for you when you need it. and believe me, i always need it.
mandie swinford, signing out

Aujourd'hui

today was....today. i went to work and played with kids for ten hours! can't go wrong there. and as lame as it sounds, i'm kinda bored with no homework tonight. i guess all i have of real excitment is an all new episode of Grey's Anatomy.
for the awkward moment of the day: i ran into Mrs. Gordee (high school guidance counselor) at the daycare. her son goes there. we haven't talked since i was having a hard time in high school and let's just say it was weird. i wanted to just start blabbing out my whole story about why i'm not at UW-Madison anymore, that everything of before, is 100% different. everything she knew of me before wasn't good. now i'm a complete new creation in Christ and i just wish i could tell her. tell her about Mercy and the last year of my life. maybe sometime. i shouldn't care what she thinks, hopefully she can just see my Jesus radiating off of me.
as for what i read in my Bible this morning...i read many healing stories about Jesus. i think one thing it's so easy for us to do now adays is to just read those stories in the gospels and think, "WOW, that guy was sure powerful." what we forget is that He still is powerful! if i was blind today, just like the beggar. with my faith, God could heal me just the same.
and now for a cool story about God's healing power. it may not seem significant to many of you, but this was kinda huge to me. last thursday i had some weird stomach flu. i puked my guts out for no reason. i didn't even have a stomach ache or other symptoms. but i hadn't read my bible that day, and i had had time, it wasn't like i made up excuses, i just didn't feel like it. i kept apologizing to God instead of going and reading my Bible. when i had puked for 6 hours i realized that i wasn't trusting God or asking Him to make me feel better. i immediately went upstairs and got my Bible. i prayed so strongly, speaking the word over myself and reading my God's Creative Power for healing. believing that God could do it. no, i didn't magically feel 100% better. but after that the puking stopped, and over the hour the nausea went away. now some would call that luck or chance, but to me it was God. it wasn't a fluke. so now when i read those stories of Jesus healing the sick, or blind, or deaf. i remember that he can do it for me too, and that my prayers really are powerful. through Christ i have power in the spiritual realm. it amazes me, and helps me appreciate those repetitive parts of the Bible.
i'd just like to say that i like this blogging thing. its hard for me to get started, but once i do i just keep writing. i look back at what i wrote, and it isn't like it sounds in my head, but i hope im getting enough of a point accross that ya'all can understand a little piece of my weird brain! :)

where to start.....

so i've been avid about reading people's blogs lately, and i've always thought about starting one. writing is just NOT something im good at. i'm not deep like my friend emily. and i don't want all my business out there. but maybe i can use this in some creative way. some way to just get my thoughts down "on paper". we'll see where it goes. feel free to comment or give me ideas!