Thursday, August 19, 2010

Living it and Proclaiming it!

God has spoken to my heart and brought about a desire for me to share this story/crucial moment in my life. A true God story. I'm not going to go into my past, issues, or more personal things; but feel free to ask me about any of it if you are interested. I feel my testimony and story of healing truly defines who I am today and who I am in Christ Jesus.

When recapping some thoughts today and looking back through past Bible verses that have been important to me, I came across Psalm 118:17. This verse is at the very end of the book, "Mercy Moves Mountains". I read this book as an assignment while on the waiting list to attend a 6 month Christian treatment program called Mercy Ministries. At the time I was reading this book I felt my life was pointless and hopeless. I felt like there was nothing left to hold onto. I wanted to die, but was so scared. I was torn between suicide and living the life that I felt was lost to past mistakes. I felt this tug that what I was feeling was not right and I needed to be somewhere safe. I chose to voluntarily check myself into the mental health wing at the hospital. While waiting in the ER examination room all I had in my purse was the book "Mercy Moves Mountains" and I was just about done with it. I don't know what possessed me to want to read while waiting in the ER for suicide, but I felt a desire to read the book and distract myself. I only read a couple pages, but at the bottom of the last page was this verse:

'I will not die; instead, I will live to tell what the Lord has done.' Psalm 118:17.

This verse was the start of a new beginning. Not long after I entered the Mercy Ministries program and God used that verse to significantly speak to me multiple times. Even after graduation, things weren't always perfect and easy. In rough times this verse constantly reminded me that I had a reason to live, and my story and testimony is me "telling what the Lord has done". I want to continue to proclaim my testimony and I hope that this note is a small tidbit of that.

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